Mom. Wife. Military Life.

In life we all strive to find friendships that feed our souls, make us better people, set examples of the lives we want to live, and overall infulence us to lift each other up. The problem we come across here is that no one is perfect, and no one carries every single quality we “need” in life. I find that often, as woman, we court our friendships much like we do relationships. We meet and have the intital reaction to the person and immediately file them in categories of acquaintance, coffee friend, wine friend, coffee/wine friend, I-like-your-kids-but-not-you-friend, I-like-you-but-not-your-kids-friend, the friend-friend, (I could go on for days)… oh, and can’t forget the oh-so-important unicorn of friendships, the framily friend.

In friendships life happens… I know that sounds like a bullshit excuse, but it does. This is often when those blurred lines of “where is this friendship going” really becomes defined. We have some friends that step in and step up, we have some struggling themselves and unable to help, and we have some that we expect to come in and sweep us off our feet and don’t. Is that our own expectations letting us down or is that the person they were all along and we chose to put that pressure on them? Any way you shake it, friendships are hard… a lot of invisible expectations and analyzing. Just like any relationship you have to decide and define where you want these to go.

I have come to realize that in military friendships we choose to expedite this process… Often a “love at first sight” kind of thing. I think the longer we are around this lifestyle the read we have on people seems to sharpen. See, we are only in places a few years, we don’t have time to sift through and “date” for awhile. This can the best thing ever…and the worst. When you get to know someone and you catch on that the idea of the friendship is much better then the reality, it can suck. Every single bit of y’all should be compatible but its just not. Its like a bad break-up, you wonder if your making the right decision, you miss things about it, but then realize it was the right thing to do all along to end it and move on. BUT, you also meet people and just know…

I have been blessed with a handful of unicorn friends. My friends that I called during a full on panic attack when we found out we were moving across the world and were there in minutes. My friends that can call me and tell me something exciting in their lives and everything in me feels just as excited as they are because we have been watching what it takes to reach that pending achievement. Friendships that feed your soul, and grow you as a person… The thing is, with moving so often these friendships can’t be fed like civilian friendships can. We get them for 3 years and then move on. Im not saying we don’t stay friends…true friends don’t have to talk every day and have the ability to pick up where they are left off, but every time we move, we grow. I have friends I have made that will forever be framily, I love them and miss them but I also get the opportunity to watch them grow from a distance. Good lord willing we continue to grow together, but if not they made a mark on my life indefinitely as I hope I did for them. I hold no guilt against my framily that “life happens” to. Im still watching and loving from a distance, as I know you are. We don’t ever replace these friendships we add to them each place we go. Here in a new place, in a new home, we are finding our new friends and “unpacking our lives” into friendships. Every day feeling blessed for what this life has brought us out here, including our new Terrace Heights “framily”.

So for now, I can hope that we are making friends forever… but if not, Im completely happy with being friends for now.

Inspire.Believe.Succeed.

Kinzy