I got in my car stuffed with a mix of my friend’s kids and my own in the backseat after what was, for the most part, a beautiful afternoon and looked over at my friend with tears in my eyes and just started apologizing… “Im so sorry, I know all I do is scream when we’re out just me and the kids with all y’all… it’s just so much, I don’t wanna miss anything and I want to go everywhere and see everything and want the kids to see it and….” I just kept blubbering as we sat there in the parking lot waiting for the other car of kids to load up with our other friend. My friend looked me straight in the face as the kids were all laughing and playing in the backseat completely oblivious to my mini- meltdown and said, “You stop apologizing right now. It can be completely overwhelming doing this stuff, thats why we are all hear together and we will all help each other …” I already knew this but for some reason it resonated more this day to me, because all day my village had stepped up to help, and they did it subconsciously, and with love in their hearts.
In the MilSo life we often get shifted with one parent status more often then we prefer, I by no means would say “Single Parent” because (Thanks be to God) I get the privilege to stay home with my kiddos and be involved in extra circular activities, while you have a single parents working themselves to the bone to provide. We go through times where the woman are all flying solo while the husbands are out working their asses off in places all over the world. There is always that one husband that falls on a different schedule and he claims the title of “Community Husband”. He’s the one we send over to each others houses to change fire alarm batteries out, he’s the one who carries the stroller when the road gets rocky… literally. He’s the one that our kiddos go to when they need some sort of masculine conversation… you know, the “rub some dirt on it, bro”. And in my group of friends we have community husbands that are dads, not dads, have different jobs, come from different walks of life, but all have one very common denominator… The love of our little village. All of us.
Our village has “community dinners” that comprises of whatever you have in the crockpot or dinner that night thrown into one family’s kitchen…. Our plates often look something like: Salad, Chicken chili, Turkey Meatballs, Rolls, Corn, Eggrolls, and whatever else we find in the back of our pantries that night. We are never above Mac-n-cheese and PB&J for the kids while we stick to a healthy diet of fruits… grapes… liquid grapes… fermented liquid grapes… ok, wine…. we drink wine…and sometimes tea… but mostly wine.
It’s not uncommon in our village to get a text message at 0800 on the dot asking “Are my kids at one of y’alls houses?… If they are and they get on your nerves just send them home.” only to be followed with a “Ya man, they are fine… their just dancing and eating a snack…” For real. Like I’m pretty sure I could screen shot you that exact convo from my phone right now…. and throughout the day the same convo keeps happening only the location changes… “Nope they are at the park” or “Ya I got them now!” until closing time hits around 6pm and the village children finally decide to crash for the night. *Slow clap of the village parents, we made it another day*…
I have found that in this short amount of time that we have built our village in, that I also have found lifetime friends in these people. Maybe its the distance from everything familiar to us, but maybe just maybe its also God’s greater plan that put our village together because each one of us needed each other at this walk in life. The conversations, the encouragement, the SUPPORT I have been given in this group of friends has been life changing. My heart humbled, my perspective changed, my goals broaden… I just feel peace and happiness. I get homesick and don’t even have to say a single word and dinner shows up on my front porch, reminding me that my home is here… As I sit here writing this my village is texting planning dinner for the next few nights and all I can think is how blessed we are. I love this village… I love that it happened organically… I love that we, as a group of families, have each other. I love that these are the people my kids are looking up to and being co-raised by right now… This village is mine…these friends, these kids, the craziness. Ill take it all.
Inspire.Believe. Succeed.
-Kinzy
Mom. Wife. Military Life. 
Leave a comment