Mom. Wife. Military Life.

Last night at 5 o’clock I walked out of my bedroom door and past my oldest daughter’s room. Her window had been open because we had a beautiful, cool breeze this day. As I looked in, I see her standing on her tippy toes, peering just above the ledge of the window with her hand on her heart. Dully the Japanese anthem plays and I see her patiently wait for the tune that falls more familiar to her tiny little ears… our national anthem. Finally it plays, I hear her sweet little voice start to sing the words that I’m not sure she even fully understands, but for her, have always been something she can consistently count on at 17:00 no matter what house we lived in, state we lived in, country we lived in… This is a place and a feeling she can associate with home. This is a form of normality for my Military Child.

I was never raised outside of my 10 miles radius in Texas. I went to kindergarten and graduated with the same people. I wouldn’t change that experience for the world but my perspective on raising children in a lifestyle that is nothing but change is absolutely foreign to me. I am a creature of habit, I like my ducks in a row, I like to have a plan, I like a schedule, I like the control of my life, lets be honest. The irony with every single bit of that is that in the military we have absolutely ZERO control and anytime you think you might have a grasp on things you get a very swift reminder that you don’t. Now add a child to that. Annnnd another one. Oh, one more, why not?! Three. Three little people my husband and I brought into this life. A life full of “What the hell are we doing?!”.

My husband and I have sat down several times and looked at each other and wondering if we are doing the right thing for our family. Our oldest has moved 4 times (5 if you include moving into a new house within our old base) and she is 5 years old. By the time we leave the duty station we are at now our youngest will have spent more of her life in Japan then America. Our son, perspectively, has had the less brunt of the moves considering he has only done it twice. But you get to thinking and wondering, what kind of stability is this?

Oh, and the time away… Out of our baby girl’s life my husband has been gone well over half of it. My older kids are finally starting to sort out the difference between a “quick TDY” and “deployment”… when we get him gone for a week its considered a “short trip” to them.

Then I stop and think.

The things that resonate with me, the things that I let sit an fester and frustrate me at times are all things my kids have ever know. The moments I feel my kids are being “robbed” of, are normalities. I don’t mean any of this in a negative connotation. I mean that as an adult and looking back at my childhood experiences I compare them to this life and mourn what I had in comparison to them. They are missing out on NOTHING. The “normalities” of not moving all over the world are normalities to ME, not to my kids… this is what is familiar to them, that is what they know. Im not going to say its easy on them, leaving anything behind can be heart wrenching, but it can also be taught that memories are some of the most precious things you can carry with you from place to place. My children are teaching me that.

My husband being gone is another thing that is hard at times. I can tell at the end of a hard, long day where all of us are just d-o-n-e with each other, they just want dad… and I just want that for them. But they understand that their daddy is a rare breed. When their daddy is flying on Christmas Eve  he “Gets to help Santa guide his sleigh”… When he is gone for birthdays, they are humbly reminded that not all super heroes wear capes, and that no matter what, as a little pod, they will use their child superpowers to help hold this family together better then any civilian kid I know.

Resilient is a word that gets thrown around a lot in association with a military baby. And they are, along with Brave, Strong, Bold, Ambitious, PROUD, Driven, Determined, Loving, I could go on and on. You look into the eyes of these children and see more strength within them then I have in my little pinky. I admire these kids, I admire the parents behind them raising them to know that no time, no place, and no /person can make them who they are unless they allow them to. That amongst the negatives in this lifestyle, the positives heavily out weight any of that. They have the world on a string… The opportunities are limitless when given the room to let them fly.

So to all you military babies, as a momma, my admiration for you is beyond the moon. Born into this life, adopted into this life, brought into this life by marriage, however you became a part of this crazy world, I love watching to learn, grow and embrace it. Every single one of your stories is a complete tale all of your own, your “fingerprint” in this lifestyle. Use this crazy life to learn to love bigger then yourself, to carry cultures with you that most kids only read about in books, and to remember that the courage you carry is a rare entity.

I love you, my military babies.

-Inspire. Believe. Succeed.

Kinzy Bond