Mom. Wife. Military Life.

My husband walked in as I was washing the last dish from dinner, I glanced up and then back down at the sink of dishes I was working on.

Me- “How was your day, babe?”

Him- “Busy as usual, I thought we were going out for dinner tonight?”

Me- “I love you, but we can’t wait.”

In reality we could wait. We could wait minutes. We could wait hours. We could wait. I mean it’s what we do right? Wait. Almost on a professional level. We wait for orders. We wait for furniture. We wait for TDY’s. We wait for homecomings. We wait. We limbo back and forth between the present and waiting, constantly.

I finally got to the point where I don’t wait. I’m not talking 10 minutes past dinner time. I’m talking that vacation that I have dreamed of for years. I’m talking about making that drive home to see family. And actually you know what? I am talking about dinner, because sometimes I don’t want to wait anymore. It’s not that I want to do it alone, or that I don’t want my husband there, because more then anything he completes me and every experience. It’s the fact that if I waited every single time for an “I’ll do my best” to come to fruition (which the man is amazing, he truly means he will do his best), I would be waiting an eternity.

I have very little power or pull in this life. I very rarely get to call the shots on the  decisions of the big life changes that get plopped in our laps, and 99.9% of the time I understand and am totally ok with that, this is the life my husband signed up for and we committed to as a family. But that .1% of the time I have the power to make a decision and it fall in my power, I choose to do it. Take the reigns and run. My daily life holds so many tiny pieces of my control-freak self it would make you laugh.

I can’t tell you, how here more then ever, I have finally allowed the waiting game to not pull at my heart or head anymore. Maybe this stage of life has just quieted down for a moment, or I have grown more as a person to understand better, but carpe diem. Oh yes I said it…. CARPE the shit out of the DIEM!!! There is always and excuse. Take that excuse and tuck it down deep in your back pocket (unless you really just genuinely don’t want to do it, then just say no, but thats a whole different blog) and do it. We wait to much in life. We wait for the raise. We wait for the kids to get a little bigger. We wait until the next day to start working out. We wait for better timing. We wait things to constantly change when in our hearts, the waiting is just our minds hesitating. Do it. Do it unapologetically. Do it proud. And for goodness sake, be bold. But don’t wait.

We get to do this life thing once. I can look back so often and think, “Why did I wait so long?”… most the time fear I’m sure, sometimes things are just completely out of my control and just trying to wait in hopes of the outcome I want. But wanting and waiting don’t always equal happiness and success. So yes, I’m telling you to be a bit impulsive. Take a few more risks. Step outside our not-so-perfectly manicured boxes, and stop waiting.

Live a little… No… live A LOT.

Inspire.Believe.Succeed.

-Kinzy