Mom. Wife. Military Life.

Every time I left the house as a teenager I remember my mom telling me “Call me as soon  as you get there and please stay in touch and let me know where you are.” I would sigh and say “Yes ma’am” as inconvenienced as I was in my teenage mind , I look back now as a mother and get it. It wasn’t over-protective moming, it was caring. It was my mom doing what she knew how to do best, loving us.

The day I found out I was pregnant my life forever changed. My perspective on the world started bending in directions I never even knew were even possible. After giving birth, I became a new person. When my oldest was born, so was I in a way. I would never have considered myself the maternal type. I wasn’t one to point out a cute baby, or swoon over a friend’s child. But my babies changed me.

The day they wheeled me back to that cold, white operating room I knew my life was going to be flipped upside down. It was no longer what I wanted to do anymore, it was what was going to be best for my family. I laid on that table with the anesthesiologist rubbing my hair comforting me as I waited for my husband to come around that blue curtain. I laid there thinking of what my baby girl was going to look like, was she going to have my eyes, how much she was going to weight…. and if I was going to be able to love her enough. Motherhood is this strange unknown. It’s something that many, many woman experience, but every single story is completely different. You can never understand or explain it until it happens, and even then the words come hard to find.

When my husband came in the room, he sat next to my head and kept repeating “your doing great, your doing fine”, I think more-so to calm himself then me. He has always said, you have no idea how scary it is as a husband/father to watch the love of your life strapped down on the table with doctors on the other side of this blue curtain delivering the one thing that binds you indefinitely. We looked at each other as we heard the doctors say “more suction, thats good….. Your doing great, your going to feel some tugging a pressure, your baby is going to be here very soon!” Those minutes felt like hours.

Just like that, we heard her cry…. Everything is different from this very moment on. “Come on over here Dad!”… My husband kissed my head and did his very best to keep his head down as he walked around the table to get the first glance at our beautiful baby. Between her little cry, and my husband’s updates “She’s 7lbs 6oz, baby”…. “She’s 20 inches!” my heart melted….

I have never loved my husband more in my life then the second I saw him holding our oldest. He was proud, calm, and strong all at the same time. He came over to me with Everly in his hands and all I could do was cry. She was perfect. My husband was a pillar of strength and we were going to be a family. Those couple of minutes flew by, they left to head down to the nursery as I finished up in surgery. “Your almost done… everything is looking wonderful!” I took those last 20 minutes and rested my eyes knowing this was the last few minutes of calm and quiet for the foreseeable future.

As I laid in recovery they brought her to me and I got the chance to breastfeed her for the very first time. We bonded. We fit perfectly together. After having a miscarriage before her, every single cry and movement to me was a blessing not a burden. I was grateful for this little person making my world rich and vibrant again.

Here I sit almost 6 years later, and 2 more babies to add to the mix, each time making me a better person. They stress me out and calm me down all at the same time. They drive me crazy only to turn around and make my heart overflow with love. I have been driven to the point of tears on every edge of the spectrum. I question all the time if I’m doing best by them, and the answer is I never am…. and thats ok. Im human. I can promise to love them, I can promise to keep God as their main point of reference, and I can love their daddy more then I love anything else in this world…. THOSE are the things I KNOW I can do. The rest is trial and error. There is nothing in this world I cannot do with my family behind me.

With this Mothers Day approaching I’m sending you love and I’m here to tell you, your doing great momma. If they aren’t eating organic, thats ok. If they play on the iPad for a while (or a lot) so you can catch a breath for a second, thats ok. If you tell them no because you just have nothing left in that moment, thats ok. If you are doing your best and you love them…. your doing it right. Kiss those babies, and squeeze them tight, because before we know it they are going to be grown.

Inspire. Believe. Succeed.

-Kinzy

 

He’s been gone for 3 weeks, a normal/usual amount of time for him to be gone. We have done this a million times and will do it a million more. After a long day wrangling 3 kids, the phone rings.

Me: “Hey… what’s up?”

Him: “Hey, how was your day?”

“Well, I’m in the middle of trying to get dinner together and kids bath stuff set up…”

“Oh, ok…. I can call back in a little bit, we’re about to head out to dinner.”

“Alright, sounds good…”

“You Okay, baby?”

“Im fine. I love you, ill talk to you in a bit.”

“Ok, I love you. Bye Baby”

That’s my simple answer. “Im fine.” I use it always. I mean it always. For me, “Im fine” falls somewhere in the middle. No, Im not sinking to the bottom of a black hole abyss crying my days away wishing we were never part of this military life, but I’m not clicking my heels in excitment screaming from the roof tops my undying love for flying solo for good chunks of time either.

Im just fine.

I say it to my husband so he can focus on his mission wherever he may be. I say it so he knows that the kids and I are making it through the days just fine. I say it because its my short and sweet way of saying “I got a million things going on right now and with all due respect I can’t chit-chat” and he gets it. As I’m doing “fine”, so is he. His “Im fine” falls more under the “Im on the other side of the world and as nice as it is to put my head down and focus knowing you and the kids are ok, and as nice as it is to go out to dinner with my friends after work and enjoy a cold beer, there is nothing more lonely then walking into a quiet, cold, hotel room and and climbing into empty bed”. He has his version of “Im fine” too and I have to humbly remind myself of that on occasion.

I say it to my kids when I’m on the verge of loosing my ever-loving mind. We could have run around all day doing fun things… beach, swimming, out to dinner, get home get them set up with a movie and I finally sit down and then its like their little minds just start going off with every thing they forgot to ask me for throughout the day… “Hey mom, can I  have a snack? Some water? Some socks? Some dust from the surface of Mars?”…. ok, you get my point. I often respond with a huff and “Right now? Really? Couldn’t have asked 30 seconds ago when I was asking if there was anything else you needed?”…. “Geez momma, why are you so grumpy?!”… “IM FINE…”… That my friends, is the version my kids get. The “momma is on 17,000 steps on her Fitbit today because you couldn’t have asked for juice the 6 times before when I asked you” version. And when it comes down to it, I know thats parenthood in general…. and I wouldn’t change it FOR THE WORLD. It gets monotnous and ground-hog day-ish when your flying solo. It’s exhausting, but it’s also rewarding. There is absolutely no better feeling in the world after getting through a particularly long  TDY or Deployment knowing that you did it. Nope, you weren’t on the front lines of a war, but you were at home keeping a whole family afloat and that deserves a moment of appreciation as well.

I say it to myself. This to me resonates the most. I can’t tell you how many times a day I repeat “Im fine” to myself. I say it when I have rough days and with tears filling my eyes as I wash the dishes… “You did it… The kids are alive, you are alive, everyone is fed, everyone is mostly clean, all is good….. I’m fine”. I say it as I lay on the beach watching my babies splash in the water and collect sea shells “I’m doing just fine!”… it’s like the sisterhood of the traveling pants of sayings, It just always fits. No matter how happy or how sad I am, I truly am always fine.

I live a beautiful life, with a beautiful family, a handsome husband, and incredible friends. When life falls bellow the “fine” mark I have constant reminders and pillars to help pull me back up to that happy medium. This lifestyle can be all consuming. It can be easy to loose yourself while feeling you have to hold so many other people up. It takes a lot more then just me to be “fine”…. it takes allowing perspective in and realizing that everyone else is walking right there with me.

So right now in this very moment, Im doing juuusssst fine.

Inspire. Believe. Succeed.

Kinzy

 

Every morning I wake up, get my kids juice cups ready, waffles thrown in the toaster, cup of coffee made and sit down and scroll through Instagram and Facebook to see what my friends and family back in the states have been up to while I was sleeping. I love seeing the occasional engagements, birth announcements, and weddings. More often then not I see pictures of food I wish I was eating, scenery I dream of being in and kids that I love watching grow through the power of social media… The things you don’t see, is the reality behind all those moments.

I hear so many people say “Gosh, it’s so fake…. everything they post just looks so perfect and happy…” The thing is, I believe, for many people this is just a perception that people choose for the world to see. No one is perfect and life isn’t easy, and guess what? Social media isn’t the place people are reaaallly living most of their lives.

When I see a beautiful family picture it makes me smile, 10% of the smile coming from the beautiful picture, 90% coming from the probability that they took 100 horrible ones to get that perfect shot and that is where the story lies. We all do it. We want the world to see us at our bests, I know I’m guilty of it. There is nothing better then posting a status and having 50 likes, or posting a picture because your feeling extra good about yourself and having other people pat you on the back. Don’t even pretend like you don’t like the confirmation either, we are all human beings and we like to be liked. We like to be patted on the back for doing well, we need the affirmation in some twisted, weird way. Im all for it.

I have been asked, messaged, told several times “How do you do it all? You look like you have everything together so well?” Well let me tell you the truth. I don’t have it all together… in fact most days I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to remember what I was doing 2 second before. I am a woman who struggles with bouts of anxiety and depression and I make an honest effort every morning to fight myself for a great day, because I know I have it in me and the want for good overweighs the pull for sad. I have to drag my ass on a treadmill to workout because I know the feeling when I’m done with that workout will give me the power to get my house chores done and will clear my mind to make my perspective open up again for the day. I get overwhelmed and scream because sometimes being asked for a cup of water 6 times that I already poured 10 minutes ago drives me absolutely mental. I cry when I feel like I’m not doing good enough for my friends and family, only to be humbly reminded that I’m not superwoman. I am…. brace yourself…. human.

Social media never sees my highest highs or lowest lows, and not because they aren’t happening, but because the people who I want to see them are going through it with me. I let the world see the middle of my life… The silly, fun, vivacious side. My life runs much deeper then my workout posts, date night pictures and my kids doing funny things. Thats a HUGE part of my life, but its not all of it. Im not being fake by posting those few things, I’m actually being very real, by living my life.

I love the bigger picture of my life… If I didn’t go through the super high times and the super low times the middle times would have no meaning at all. I know when I post a cute picture of my kid that in my reality, 5 minutes before we were both probably at whits end with each other because I told them no more video games… I know that when I post a date night picture with my husband from 2 weeks ago its because I miss him while he’s working on the other side of the world…I know when I post a picture of myself in a swimsuit and look at it and pick my cellulite and stretch marks to pieces, the world isn’t. As much as I want the world to enjoy my life, I know my true story. Every single person has one, and every single one is told differently.

Just remember that when you see someone on a beautiful vacation, or looking fantastic in a new outfit…. There is a story there, we are just getting the opportunity to share that very moment with them. Complement them, enjoy it with them, or even better… ask them what is their story?!

Inspire.Believe.Succeed.

-Kinzy

Life has been busy… Little tedious things seem to be filling up our weeks and time is flying by as we creep up to our 6 month mark here on the island. It is crazy to believe we have been here that long but at the same time it feels like we have been here forever.

We have had the 2 younger kiddos in rigorous swim lessons that have been every single day for 4 weeks, this week we are rounding out our 5th and last week of that and they are doing AMAZING. I don’t know what I expected them to get from these classes but the progress they have shown has been more then I ever imagined. Everly is doing awesome in school. She had a program in school the other day and her class sang 3 songs. I have to say, she was the shining star (Bias mom here). They are all growing like weeds. I swear Ev and Cruz are a foot taller and Jaxsyn will talk your ear off. They are just awesome kids, we are incredibly blessed.

Jason went to Guam for a month and has been back for a few weeks now and he’s just about to head back to the states again for a few more weeks. If your reading this, there is a great chance you are near and dear to us, so most of you know Jason was accepted into Weapons School. It is an extremely difficult course that will take him to the states for 6 months starting this summer. It has been a long road leading up to this and now the toughest part is just on the horizon. We are SO incredibly proud of him and look forward to watching him get his ass handed to him… I mean…. do amazing! Jason has said over and over again how grateful he is that we have the support we do here, he’s able to make this adventure happen because he knows we are taken care of even on the other side of the world. The kids and I have no plans to slow down once he heads out. Everly and Cruz will be in school next year and Jaxsyn and I have a things-to-see list a mile long. With all that being said, I rarely ask for prayers unless I feel they are truly needed, but I ask you to pray for Jason as he dives into this new journey and I ask you pray for our little pod here in Japan that we keep rocking through those few months flying solo.

With THAT being said, we plan on coming home for the holidays this year. The kids are BEYOND the moon excited to see their family. I’ll (good Lord willing) being heading out to Vegas to see Jason graduate during that time and then bringing him back to Texas to reunite our pod and visit with family before making the trek back to OKI. Im pretty certain this will be our only trip home durning our time living over here so start saving and planning your trips to OKI because by the time we get back we will only have a couple years left!

As amazing as this life is I find myself getting frustrated a lot faster over here. I am not one to let things stop me from exploring and adventuring out but it does get much more frustrating when you move somewhere that you can’t even pronounce/read the street sign or ask for help because you can’t speak the language. I find going off base to a new area to be a bit more stressful then I usually would. Having 3 kids in tow that are old enough to ask “Are we there yet?”, along with google maps screaming at me that I took the wrong turn and “Re-routing” me just adds insult to injury at times. Its easy to say just keep rocking, which 95% of the time we do, but we also have those 10% days where we just can’t… It all gets to be just to much for everyone and we end up just out front of base at our usual noodle place, and for some reason that just feels right sometimes. I know there are solutions to all my “problems” and as time goes on we will slowly start finding out what those are as a family. Today, thankfully, is a 95% as we went to explore a new beach, and the sun has been shining with just a few occasional cotton candy clouds.

Spring break is next week and we have several little things planned along with a possible trip to an outlying island! We also have a big FRAMILY trip planned in May, a second birthday to celebrate, I am going on a girls trip in June, and my sister arrives to the island a few days after I get back and then we see Jason off. So much FUN and WONDERFUL things in the near future for the Bonds!  Thank you for reading our update and I look forward to sharing our wonderful adventures to come here in the near future!

Inspire.Believe.Succeed.

-Kinzy

Last night at 5 o’clock I walked out of my bedroom door and past my oldest daughter’s room. Her window had been open because we had a beautiful, cool breeze this day. As I looked in, I see her standing on her tippy toes, peering just above the ledge of the window with her hand on her heart. Dully the Japanese anthem plays and I see her patiently wait for the tune that falls more familiar to her tiny little ears… our national anthem. Finally it plays, I hear her sweet little voice start to sing the words that I’m not sure she even fully understands, but for her, have always been something she can consistently count on at 17:00 no matter what house we lived in, state we lived in, country we lived in… This is a place and a feeling she can associate with home. This is a form of normality for my Military Child.

I was never raised outside of my 10 miles radius in Texas. I went to kindergarten and graduated with the same people. I wouldn’t change that experience for the world but my perspective on raising children in a lifestyle that is nothing but change is absolutely foreign to me. I am a creature of habit, I like my ducks in a row, I like to have a plan, I like a schedule, I like the control of my life, lets be honest. The irony with every single bit of that is that in the military we have absolutely ZERO control and anytime you think you might have a grasp on things you get a very swift reminder that you don’t. Now add a child to that. Annnnd another one. Oh, one more, why not?! Three. Three little people my husband and I brought into this life. A life full of “What the hell are we doing?!”.

My husband and I have sat down several times and looked at each other and wondering if we are doing the right thing for our family. Our oldest has moved 4 times (5 if you include moving into a new house within our old base) and she is 5 years old. By the time we leave the duty station we are at now our youngest will have spent more of her life in Japan then America. Our son, perspectively, has had the less brunt of the moves considering he has only done it twice. But you get to thinking and wondering, what kind of stability is this?

Oh, and the time away… Out of our baby girl’s life my husband has been gone well over half of it. My older kids are finally starting to sort out the difference between a “quick TDY” and “deployment”… when we get him gone for a week its considered a “short trip” to them.

Then I stop and think.

The things that resonate with me, the things that I let sit an fester and frustrate me at times are all things my kids have ever know. The moments I feel my kids are being “robbed” of, are normalities. I don’t mean any of this in a negative connotation. I mean that as an adult and looking back at my childhood experiences I compare them to this life and mourn what I had in comparison to them. They are missing out on NOTHING. The “normalities” of not moving all over the world are normalities to ME, not to my kids… this is what is familiar to them, that is what they know. Im not going to say its easy on them, leaving anything behind can be heart wrenching, but it can also be taught that memories are some of the most precious things you can carry with you from place to place. My children are teaching me that.

My husband being gone is another thing that is hard at times. I can tell at the end of a hard, long day where all of us are just d-o-n-e with each other, they just want dad… and I just want that for them. But they understand that their daddy is a rare breed. When their daddy is flying on Christmas Eve  he “Gets to help Santa guide his sleigh”… When he is gone for birthdays, they are humbly reminded that not all super heroes wear capes, and that no matter what, as a little pod, they will use their child superpowers to help hold this family together better then any civilian kid I know.

Resilient is a word that gets thrown around a lot in association with a military baby. And they are, along with Brave, Strong, Bold, Ambitious, PROUD, Driven, Determined, Loving, I could go on and on. You look into the eyes of these children and see more strength within them then I have in my little pinky. I admire these kids, I admire the parents behind them raising them to know that no time, no place, and no /person can make them who they are unless they allow them to. That amongst the negatives in this lifestyle, the positives heavily out weight any of that. They have the world on a string… The opportunities are limitless when given the room to let them fly.

So to all you military babies, as a momma, my admiration for you is beyond the moon. Born into this life, adopted into this life, brought into this life by marriage, however you became a part of this crazy world, I love watching to learn, grow and embrace it. Every single one of your stories is a complete tale all of your own, your “fingerprint” in this lifestyle. Use this crazy life to learn to love bigger then yourself, to carry cultures with you that most kids only read about in books, and to remember that the courage you carry is a rare entity.

I love you, my military babies.

-Inspire. Believe. Succeed.

Kinzy Bond

I got in my car stuffed with a mix of my friend’s kids and my own in the backseat after what was, for the most part, a beautiful afternoon and looked over at my friend with tears in my eyes and just started apologizing… “Im so sorry, I know all I do is scream when we’re out just me and the kids with all y’all… it’s just so much, I don’t wanna miss anything and I want to go everywhere and see everything and want the kids to see it and….” I just kept blubbering as we sat there in the parking lot waiting for the other car of kids to load up with our other friend. My friend looked me straight in the face as the kids were all laughing and playing in the backseat completely oblivious to my mini- meltdown and said, “You stop apologizing right now. It can be completely overwhelming doing this stuff, thats why we are all hear together and we will all help each other …” I already knew this but for some reason it resonated more this day to me, because all day my village had stepped up to help, and they did it subconsciously, and with love in their hearts.

In the MilSo life we often get shifted with one parent status more often then we prefer, I by no means would say “Single Parent” because (Thanks be to God) I get the privilege to stay home with my kiddos and be involved in extra circular activities, while you have a single parents working themselves to the bone to provide. We go through times where the woman are all flying solo while the husbands are out working their asses off in places all over the world. There is always that one husband that falls on a different schedule and he claims the title of “Community Husband”. He’s the one we send over to each others houses to change fire alarm batteries out, he’s the one who carries the stroller when the road gets rocky… literally. He’s the one that our kiddos go to when they need some sort of masculine conversation… you know, the “rub some dirt on it, bro”. And in my group of friends we have community husbands that are dads, not dads, have different jobs, come from different walks of life, but all have one very common denominator… The love of our little village. All of us.

Our village has “community dinners” that comprises of whatever you have in the crockpot or dinner that night thrown into one family’s kitchen…. Our plates often look something like: Salad, Chicken chili, Turkey Meatballs, Rolls, Corn, Eggrolls, and whatever else we find in the back of our pantries that night. We are never above Mac-n-cheese and PB&J for the kids while we stick to a healthy diet of fruits… grapes… liquid grapes… fermented liquid grapes… ok, wine…. we drink wine…and sometimes tea… but mostly wine.

It’s not uncommon in our village to get a text message at 0800 on the dot asking “Are my kids at one of y’alls houses?… If they are and they get on your nerves just send them home.” only to be followed with a “Ya man, they are fine… their just dancing and eating a snack…” For real. Like I’m pretty sure I could screen shot you that exact convo from my phone right now…. and throughout the day the same convo keeps happening only the location changes… “Nope they are at the park” or “Ya I got them now!” until closing time hits around 6pm and the village children finally decide to crash for the night. *Slow clap of the village parents, we made it another day*…

I have found that in this short amount of time that we have built our village in, that I also have found lifetime friends in these people. Maybe its the distance from everything familiar to us, but maybe just maybe its also God’s greater plan that put our village together because each one of us needed each other at this walk in life. The conversations, the encouragement, the SUPPORT I have been given in this group of friends has been life changing. My heart humbled, my perspective changed, my goals broaden… I just feel peace and happiness. I get homesick and don’t even have to say a single word and dinner shows up on my front porch, reminding me that my home is here… As I sit here writing this my village is texting planning dinner for the next few nights and all I can think is how blessed we are. I love this village… I love that it happened organically… I love that we, as a group of families, have each other. I love that these are the people my kids are looking up to and being co-raised by right now… This village is mine…these friends, these kids, the craziness. Ill take it all.

Inspire.Believe. Succeed.

-Kinzy

Hello family and friends! Here we are already in FEBRUARY…Holy smokes, I feel like time is flying! We have been a little quieter lately settling more into what our everyday life is going to be like here in Okinawa, with that comes the good and bad.

On the bad side, when things start to slow down I’m finding myself missing Texas. I miss my family and friends and just good ole’ southern charm in general. I know I’m a true blooded Texan because I have seen some beautiful things in my life and still nothing compares to the big blue Texas sky, country music on the radio, my dad grillin up some BBQ, sippin’ a Tito’s and sprite while laying next to my parents pool with my brothers, sister, nieces, nephews and their kids, my in-laws, aunts, uncles and anyone else who is a friend that we consider family the second they walk through that side gate. It’s hard to understand the dynamic of my family unless you have had the privilege to experience it, but let me tell you its the one thing that I miss the absolute most.

NOW, for the good! Jason has quite a bit of traveling over the next few months so we went out to celebrate our anniversary early this past weekend. We went to a place called “Little Greek Kitchen” and it was FANTASTIC. There were only about 8 tables in this restaurant, you have to call for reservations and kiddos aren’t allowed for dinner. Im sure during the day this place would have had a fantastic view, its perched up on a hill with floor to ceiling windows that look out to the ocean, but with it being the night time it was just dark, but that didn’t even matter because we were focused on the food! We had no idea what to expect but for the dinner there is a set meal, no menus. As Everly would sing to you “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit”…. We were served fresh cucumber salad, homemade Pita and some sort of cheese. She uses the same yeast for the bread, cheese and homemade greek yogurt which made everything so well rounded and blend well together. After we ate the first corse she brought out our main corse, a plate with stuffed squid, lamb stew, grilled chicken, spanicopita, fresh calamari, wedge fries, and homemade tatzeki sauce with her homemade greek yogurt as the base! I tried things I would have NEVER ordered and was pleasantly surprised. For dessert she brought out chocolate pound cake and more of her handmade fresh fruit blended greek yogurt and a cup of coffee. We had such a wonderful evening visiting because we weren’t sitting over a menu picking the same 5 things we always decide to eat. It was completely unexpected and we had a wonderful time!

Everly is doing wonderful in school, she has an awesome teacher and the schooling here is above and beyond what I could have ever hoped for. They have gone on a field trip, they have access to some of the best virtual training available, they get to take Japanese classes during school as well as fine arts (music, art class) which wasn’t offered in OKC. She is flourishing and Cruz is super excited to begin school next year with her. They are building a new school now that *hopefully* will be open by the first day. I have been working with him here and there trying to get him prepped for what I know will be a big adjustment for my little man. I think he’s going to do wonderful though. Now that leaves me with little bit…. She’s sassy, and talking A LOT. She will tell you all about shoes, turtles and make-up…. no lie. She loves make-up (mostly my brushes). Im looking forward to having the 2 big kids in school and getting some one on one time with her. There is nothing her, me and a jogging stroller can’t conquer.

Overall our family unit is doing great, it certainly is a different world here. We miss the American norms…. Target, Chick-fil-a, you know…the English language in general. This next year has the potential to be challenging, exciting and rewarding all mixed up with a million different other feelings. For now we take things day by day and enjoy the subtleties. We have the Cherry Blossom Festivals, Field trips, Class parties, Squadron events and a million other exciting things coming up! Ill keep y’all updated, We love y’all!

Inspire.Believe. Succeed.

-Kinzy

I sit here in my cluttered living room looking around at the toys scattered about by my 3 kids, dry cereal crunched into the carpet, the dishwasher running, Henry Hugglemonster blaring, and the sounds of fighter jets buzzing over my house. I feel like I have already won today because everyone is dressed, teeth brushed, oldest is off to school and BONUS… My hair is still somewhat decent from going out to a social last night so that made for an easier tamed ponytail this morning…. wait…How did I get here?!

12 years ago I was a senior in high school and started dating a boy that I never would have imagined would turn into my husband. I was young and just having fun living life and being boy crazy. We dated and ended up realizing we both liked each other more and more. We graduated and started college and continued to grow into these young adults, who by God’s good graces, grew us together instead of apart. I decided college was not something I wanted to invest in because I had no idea what I wanted to do for a degree (and still don’t) and got a full time job, he decided to pursue the Air Force ROTC program. We knew we were each others people and got married when he was a sophomore in college.

As we balanced life as a young married couple, myself working and Jason doing school, part-time work and ROTC, we found out we were pregnant with our first baby. Fear, excitement, and anticipation filled our hearts. 3 months into the pregnancy we went in for an appointment and found out we had lost the baby. In that very moment the boy I had dated and married turned into a man right in front of my eyes. Feeling the deepest amount of pain I had ever felt also solidified my marriage in a way words can’t even begin to explain. I had never been more sure in my life then in that moment that I had chosen the right person for me.

Every single day for the past 4,141 days (I googled it) I have chosen him. Through high school, college, bad jobs, marriage, graduation, family matters, miscarriage, births, deaths, PCS (moves), TDYs, long hours, early mornings, fights, laugher, and life in general, I chose him. I often say “I don’t need you in my life, I want you in my life”, it is a privilege to love someone, not a necessity. Life plays games and throws wrenches in life’s plan more often then anyone wants to acknowledge or bring light to. Marriage is HARD. Its not always 50/50.. in fact I find more often it ebbs and flows back and forth, a balancing act between the strengths of a couple. The catch is when you notice that balance being thrown off and you choose as a couple to recognize that and pull each other back up from sinking. It’s an effort that I choose to put in every. single. day.

…So thats how I got here…

As I grow older I fall in love with my husband more and more (I know I’m so corny). I have the blessing of being a wife to a man who always puts the happiness of others above his own. I have 3 minions that drive me absolutely crazy and test my patience every moment of every day, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I chose this life. I chose the noise, the extra work, the late nights, the ruckus of life….and I would do every single bit of it again to sit here where I am today. Crunched cereal in the carpet and all.

I love you husband, I chose you once and I would continue to keep choosing you over and over and over again.

Inspire. Believe. Succeed.

-Kinzy

 

 

That time of year has arrived yet again, the “New year, new me”… I love this and hate this all at the same time. I love seeing people motivated and ready to grab ahold of their lives and make adjustments to enrich themselves. I hate that it lasts about .235634 seconds and then everything is back to the usual complaining and entitlement. I understand that we get caught up, but come on, not 2 days into the new year.

Instead of making unrealistic New Years resolutions why don’t we start making life changes…Oh, and lets keep it really, really simple. You don’t like the way you look? Get up and move and make smarter/smaller food choices. You want to be more organized? Slow down… There is absolutely nothing in this life that can’t be accomplished if you truly want it to get done. You want to be happy? Do what makes YOU happy and forget what everyone else is TELLING you that is going to make you happy.

This sounds really silly but I feel like we have lost the idea of simplicity in our everyday lives, we think more = better. More time, more money, more, more, more. When we moved to Japan our life got brought down about 10 levels…. I went from driving a fully loaded F150 to a 13 year old Honda Mobilio, We went from a new, large house to a quadplex, I went from having every single station that satellite could offer to not even having ABC… and ready for the kicker? I don’t miss it. Life here is simple. We all drive old cars so there is no silent competition on who’s is the best. We all have the exact same small quadplex that houses our families perfectly fine. And as much as I miss sitting down open mouthed watching the latest housewives drama, its been kinda nice not being glued to the TV. Im not saying the nice things aren’t ok to have (trust me, we all have our vices), but I am saying there is something in “simple” that has brought a light and happiness to my world.

Do what makes you happy. You wanna be an underwater basket weaver? Do it. You wanna wear white after Labor Day? Do it. You wanna be president (it’s possible now…)? Do it. We were all told as kids “The sky is the limit” and for whatever reason at the ripe age of 28 I’m finding that to be truer then true. I control my life. I control my happiness. I have found that no one person, or thing, completes me…I complete me. I sound like a self help info-mercial but I mean it. Stop complaining, and making EXCUSES (yes, making a reason to justify not doing something is called an EXCUSE) and do. There are 24 hours in a day, that is a lot of time to accomplish things.

In 2017 I will be a better wife, I will be a more patient mom, I will be a strong friend, I will start facing irrational fears that I have created in my own mind, I will pray more, I will continue to better my health, I will give myself a break and not feel guilty about it, I will be more understanding to things I don’t necessarily understand, I will grow. Im not making these as “hopes for what I will do in the future”, I making these a goals I WILL accomplish in making my life feel more leveled out and fulfilled. Your never to busy to invest in yourself, when your happy it’s like a domino effect how it falls onto everyone else around you.

2017, Im coming for you, you sexy beast. Let’s make this our best year yet.

Inspire.Believe. Succeed.

-Kinzy

In life we all strive to find friendships that feed our souls, make us better people, set examples of the lives we want to live, and overall infulence us to lift each other up. The problem we come across here is that no one is perfect, and no one carries every single quality we “need” in life. I find that often, as woman, we court our friendships much like we do relationships. We meet and have the intital reaction to the person and immediately file them in categories of acquaintance, coffee friend, wine friend, coffee/wine friend, I-like-your-kids-but-not-you-friend, I-like-you-but-not-your-kids-friend, the friend-friend, (I could go on for days)… oh, and can’t forget the oh-so-important unicorn of friendships, the framily friend.

In friendships life happens… I know that sounds like a bullshit excuse, but it does. This is often when those blurred lines of “where is this friendship going” really becomes defined. We have some friends that step in and step up, we have some struggling themselves and unable to help, and we have some that we expect to come in and sweep us off our feet and don’t. Is that our own expectations letting us down or is that the person they were all along and we chose to put that pressure on them? Any way you shake it, friendships are hard… a lot of invisible expectations and analyzing. Just like any relationship you have to decide and define where you want these to go.

I have come to realize that in military friendships we choose to expedite this process… Often a “love at first sight” kind of thing. I think the longer we are around this lifestyle the read we have on people seems to sharpen. See, we are only in places a few years, we don’t have time to sift through and “date” for awhile. This can the best thing ever…and the worst. When you get to know someone and you catch on that the idea of the friendship is much better then the reality, it can suck. Every single bit of y’all should be compatible but its just not. Its like a bad break-up, you wonder if your making the right decision, you miss things about it, but then realize it was the right thing to do all along to end it and move on. BUT, you also meet people and just know…

I have been blessed with a handful of unicorn friends. My friends that I called during a full on panic attack when we found out we were moving across the world and were there in minutes. My friends that can call me and tell me something exciting in their lives and everything in me feels just as excited as they are because we have been watching what it takes to reach that pending achievement. Friendships that feed your soul, and grow you as a person… The thing is, with moving so often these friendships can’t be fed like civilian friendships can. We get them for 3 years and then move on. Im not saying we don’t stay friends…true friends don’t have to talk every day and have the ability to pick up where they are left off, but every time we move, we grow. I have friends I have made that will forever be framily, I love them and miss them but I also get the opportunity to watch them grow from a distance. Good lord willing we continue to grow together, but if not they made a mark on my life indefinitely as I hope I did for them. I hold no guilt against my framily that “life happens” to. Im still watching and loving from a distance, as I know you are. We don’t ever replace these friendships we add to them each place we go. Here in a new place, in a new home, we are finding our new friends and “unpacking our lives” into friendships. Every day feeling blessed for what this life has brought us out here, including our new Terrace Heights “framily”.

So for now, I can hope that we are making friends forever… but if not, Im completely happy with being friends for now.

Inspire.Believe.Succeed.

Kinzy